


John Doe

by Fille_du_soleil



Series: Army life [2]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Emotions, Happy Ending, Kidfic, M/M, Married!Ziam, Mpreg, Soldier! Liam, Soulmates, Tattoos, mommy!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 08:23:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11144595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fille_du_soleil/pseuds/Fille_du_soleil
Summary: Ziamsession prompt.Liam is a soldier who suffers from amnesia, and Zayn is his husband who never lost hope.! .MPREG. !





	John Doe

**Author's Note:**

> MPREG. HOMOSEXUAL. 
> 
> Excuse any lingering mistake. 
> 
> As promised...here you go.

Zayn hummed softly as he cleaned the house. The twins were playing in the backyard being noisy enough to know that everything was fine, and they were clearly having a great time. A grin stretched the brunet’s lips as he grabbed the laundry basket full of the kids’ clothes, and some of his husband.

Liam was away for a month in a warzone country, he was due to call them that night after weeks of nothing.  Zayn couldn’t help but giggle impatient to talk to his lover, he had a big news to reveal. Shortly after Liam left, the brunet started getting sick, all thought it was because of sadness but Zayn was used to his husband being deployed, it never affected him that much before. He scheduled an appointment with the military base’s doctor who revealed a pregnancy.

The man smiled bright putting his hand on the small bump, he started showing recently and had yet again weird food cravings. The wonderful news helped him get though the absence of his husband. It was hard to keep the secret from everyone however Zayn was determined to tell Liam first, then all their families and friends.

Zayn sang happily as cleaned up the house, and started to tidy one of the spare room to be the future nursery. He had plans about painting the walls, getting the old crib from the garage for the new baby. He wanted everything ready for their kid when time would come to deliver. The thought made him a bit sad because Liam wouldn’t be there to help, and assist to the birth however he would be there only a month later.

It was scheduled in the brunet’s head. Liam would come home a month after he would give birth, then they can finally spend time together.

“ _I promise, Jaan, this is the last time I go. I will ask for an office job here as soon as I get back_ ”

The promise echoed to Zayn’s mind making him relax and work tirelessly. Liam promised to stay with them, it was his last deployment. With the pregnancy news, it would only convince him further to settle down and leave the soldier life behind.

A soft knock echoed in the humble house startling Zayn out of his thoughts. He trotted toward the front door opening it, and frowned seeing two officers standing on his veranda. They were wearing their uniforms and one of them had a neat folded flag under his armpit.

“ _No_ ” Zayn gasped sliding down, legs giving up under his weight. “ _No!_ ” He shouted at them before they even pronounced a word. The brunet knew all too well why they were there, and he wanted them gone from his property.

“Mister Payne” One of them said kneeling down trying to help up Zayn. The latter snapped pushing him away, tears fogging his vision, heart pounding too fast in his chest.

“Mister Payne” He said again clearing his throat, heart breaking at the sight of the broken brunet. “Your husband served his country with bravery, courage, and honor. He fought with his comrades, and… He lost his life in the battlefield a week ago”

“No” Zayn sobbed clutching tight his shirt, rocking back and forth as he looked at them. “My husband isn’t dead, he is alive…You’re lying!” He cried desperate to see them go, and wake up from the nightmare.

The officers saluted him before officially handing him the folded flag, presenting their condolences.

“Soldier Payne sacrificed his life to save his unit” The older officer said sitting down next to Zayn, dropping the protocol as he witnessed the deep sorrowful cries of the widow. “His body … couldn’t be found. He was stuck in a building that exploded. It was a trap.” He explained softly while Zayn leaned against the doorframe crying louder, hugging tight the flag to his chest.

“He isn’t dead” The brunet repeated with a hoarse broken voice. “Stop saying that” He glared at the man who sighed. He did that work for years and every time it was a heart shattering event, nothing could get him used to the drill.

“I am sorry for your loss, sir. Do you want us to contact someone from your family to help you?” The man offered not comfortable to leave the brunet crying alone on the veranda.

Zayn hiccupped trying to stay coherent. His mind was roaring with sorrowful thoughts. He stood up on his shaky legs hearing the twins run toward them, giggling and still oblivious that the world shifted and took a darker shade.     

“Mommy” Aiden asked hugging Zayn’s leg, his brown orbs going between the brunet and the officers. “Why are you crying?” He asked in a small voice not pleased to see his parent so sad.

From there Zayn didn’t know how time passed, people defiled on his veranda presenting their condolences. His family stood by his side and took care of the funeral, Karen talked to him at some point but he couldn’t hear anything, her voice seemed far away from a distant nightmare.

A week passed, the sun rose and went down as usual, the moon shined in the night sky as usual too. Zayn spent his days and nights laying on the bed, wondering how the world could still go on when he lost his soul-mate.

Another week passed still in bed, thinking too much, writing about how unfair life was…Until on a bright spring morning Karen barged in the room banging the door open.

“Enough is enough!” She snapped walking toward Zayn pulling away the blankets. “I know you are sad, we all are! I lost a son, my children lost a brother, his friends lost a loyal man…We all lost him, Zayn!” The woman ranted opening wide the windows letting the sunrays and fresh air come in. “We all lost him” She repeated with a sad voice sitting next to the brunet. “We all share the same agonizing pain. But you are a parent too…You’ve to get out of here and take care of your sons…They lost a father, and they need you more than ever. For them, despite the raging pain, you need to get out of bed and put on your best smile because they need you, your support and love…You can’t just give up. Life goes on, don’t let the pain take away your life, and theirs”

Zayn stared at her for a minute before bursting into tears. His frail arms wrapped around his thinner legs, he lost so much weight along the days that he was hardly recognizable.

“I lost my soul” He sobbed looking at her with pleading eyes, wanting her to leave him to his own misery. “I lost my life with him, I can’t act like nothing happened…I lost my world” The brunet added with a hoarse broken voice.

“You’re not the only one…Your sons are downstairs having breakfast, Trisha and I won’t take care of them anymore. It’s your duty, you’re still a parent, still their father…When you gave birth to them, you gave away your right to live as you wish. You need to be strong for them, Liam wouldn’t want you to be like this. He died doing his duty, now you have to live and be strong to do yours. Life goes on, and believe me…With time you will feel better” Karen said smiling softly through her own tears. The news shattered her but she needed to get Zayn on his feet again, living his life instead of fading away in bed with the memories.

“Stop saying that!” Zayn snapped wiping his tears. “Stop saying that word! Stop saying he is… He isn’t. He is just lost and someday…He will come back home” He wept staring at the tired pale woman. His tears seemed never-ending.

Karen sighed pulling the shaking exhausted brunet into her arms. Her hands rubbed gently his back, trying to comfort him. She didn’t want to argue yet again, and shout or try to convince the man. Zayn refused to attend the funeral, refused to acknowledge any condolences, stubbornly in denial. The coffin was empty but they all said goodbye that day, they all grieved and cried to let go. Except Zayn who obstinately denied that Liam was dead, and gone.

“Go take a shower, son. I will clean this room, then we will go downstairs and eat with the boys. It’s time to live now, you cried enough” She whispered pulling away a bit to meet the red puffy hazel.

“’M pregnant” Zayn whispered wiping his tears, his gaze went to the window where the dream catcher tingled along with the soft breeze. Another reminder of Liam, who brought it when the brunet kept having nightmares. The house was full suffocating memories, he couldn’t stay there. He didn’t want to stay there now that there was a ghost walking next to him each step.

Karen gasped eyes going wide open staring at the brunet. Tears instantly flooded her eyes as she hugged the man tight.

“That’s a wonderful news” She breathed laughing softly through her tears. Her voice echoed in the room, broken yet with a hint of happiness. 

“That’s the only thing that kept me eating, and not….Doing something stupid” Zayn rasped tiredly, looking ashamed. He kept the news to himself because he didn’t want anyone bothering him, but now the brunet felt the need to share and spread his small glint of happiness.

“Maybe twins again?” Karen chuckled, sniffing with a bright genuine smile. “I am so happy. The twins will be ecstatic too. We need to share the wonderful news” she added heart shattering yet filled with joy. It was a clear reminder that despite everything Liam was still with them through the kids, and in their memories.

“Just one baby this time” Zayn laughed softly smiling for the first time after days of grieving. He didn’t want to believe that Liam went away forever, although everyone kept saying the opposite he was sure that the man was still there. He felt it, deep inside, there was a feeling that comforted him. His husband was still alive and someday he would find his way home.

-

That day Zayn finally had the courage to leave the bed, took a shower, and wore his best suit. He didn’t say any word as he headed outside. His family looked at him with pity and worry, he grew to hate that look. Everyone looked at him that way as he drove through town, even old people he didn’t even know the name of.

He inspired pity now that he became a widow, and he hated it. He wanted to shout at them that his soulmate wasn’t dead, just lost…But no one would believe him anyway.

He made his way through the white graves until he reached Liam’s….The military cemetery was cold and impersonal, Zayn didn’t like it. The tombstone was too white for his liking too. And the way they engraved Liam’s name was ….

He couldn’t keep up his thoughts he just broke down sobbing, wishing he could drink away his pain.

“What the fuck, Liam?” he rasped getting angry as he kept staring at his husband name on the cold stone. “what in the actual fuck are you doing here?! It’s not even a fucking real grave! Where the fuck I am supposed to shout my anger!” he stated yelling the last words. “Should I go to that fucked up country and yell there?! Tell me! Answer me, Liam!” He cried but his words met only silence. No one was there to hold him, no one was there to explain to him what happened.

The cemetery was empty, and he was there falling down to his knees and shouting at an empty grave.

“You are supposed to be with me!” Zayn yelled voice breaking because of his never ending tears. “I was supposed to be yours forever. We were supposed to grow old together, raise our kids together…And you fucking coward left me! I hate you” He sobbed the last words hitting the green grass.

“I hate you! Hear that? I fucking hate you, Liam!” His loud painful sobs echoed in the surrounding. He stayed there crying for what felt like hours, but it was only mere minutes. “Please come home” he whimpered feeling dizzy, and put a protecting hand on his still flat stomach.

 

-

 

Time was merciful and ruthless, merciful because even the greatest pain faded along the days, weeks, and months.

“Zachary!” Zayn called for his five year old to come downstairs so they can finally leave for the carnival. “Aiden! Where you two are at?” He groaned irritated. The twins kept procrastinating and now they would be late and the rest of the family would have to wait.

The man sighed fixing the baby-holder better on his chest, the little baby girl rested against his torso. Her small head nested in his neck while her tiny hand gripped tightly Zayn’s shirt, wrinkling it in the process. She was six months old and as loud and clingy as they come.

“Camille…Come one, baby girl, don’t drool on mommy, yeah?” Zayn chuckles kissing her head and rocked her gently as he waited for the boys to join them.

“Mommy!” Aiden appeared wearing a batman suit looking proud of himself. “M ready! But Zac’ can’t find his Deadpool costume” The boy explained descending carefully the stairs one by one, his hand on the railing for support.

“’Ma!” Zachary called from the bedroom he shared with his brother. He was clumsy and always had his head up in the clouds just like Liam. The thought made Zayn smile fondly, now he could think of him without feeling the heavy pain in his chest.

Time was merciful because now he could talk about his late-husband without crying, but always with a genuine smile. He told his kids countless stories about Liam, their life together and how much he loved them. Time took away the pain and let him live again. The sadness of losing his soul-mate was still there, and Zayn doubted that it would ever go away, however now life seemed brighter.

And time was ruthless in some ways too, because it took away the pain but also some dear memories. The hurt was a proof that the brunet loved Liam to no end, and sometimes he felt like if he wasn’t hurting anymore meant that he stopped loving his husband. However each time it only took a glance at their kids to remind him that no, Liam was till there with them in memories, in their hearts, to be loved and cherished until their last day.   

“Alright” Zayn whined tired and impatient to leave already. “Mommy is coming to help” he said making the five year old beam and run back to his bedroom looking for the costume again.

-

Zayn was walking with his kids, keeping an eye on them. The carnival was bigger than the previous year, and their town even put ads everywhere for it. He smiled watching the boys run around, clearly amazed by the costumes some people wore.

The weather was nice with a fresh breeze blowing time to time. The brunet felt at peace as he wandered around, wanting the kids to see everything there before they would join the family.

“ _Louis!_ _Come on, mate!_ ” The voice was a bit far away but it was enough to make Zayn’s blood run cold. He turned around sharply, tears already flooding his eyes. He grabbed the twins by their hands and dragged them toward the voice.

He could hear the boys whine as they were pulled away. He could feel the sleeping girl in the babyholder wake up, being all fussy as she fisted with her tiny hands his shirt.  However nothing seemed more important at that moment than find the voice.

It was there again, laughing and getting closer.

“Liam” Zayn breathed staring at his husband. The man didn’t respond and carried on his walk with some guy. They clearly were friends, and kept laughing together.

“Liam!” The brunet shouted, and without realizing he let go of the twins and sprinted toward his husband. He was there…Living and breathing, laughing even.

He was within reach.

“Liam!” He called again finally reaching the man and pulled him back, hearing more than seeing the boys run toward them.

Liam frowned looking back at the man that harshly jerked his arm. He was about to snap but words seemed to fade from his mind, his throat went dry.

“Jaan” he breathed stunned to see the brunet in front of him. He spent months dreaming about the man, and Louis made fun of him because of it. But now the brunet was looking at him with big wide eyes as if they knew each other.

“Jaan” Zayn repeated breaking down sobbing. “Where were you?” He asked on the edge of fainting. His heart was beating too fast, his vision got blurry, and he could hear the twins whimper distressed ‘ _mommy’s_ ’, not understanding what was happening.

“Do you know me?” Liam rasped with a deep husky voice, not trusting himself to not cry. He didn’t even know why but he felt a deep joy although tainted with sadness as he stared at the shorter man.

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked eyebrows knitted together. He took a deep breath trying to calm down, and comforted the boys that were clinging on his legs.

“I have amnesia” Liam explained hopeful about getting some information about his past. The brunet who he knew the name of seemed to know him. “I don’t remember who I am. I only have glimpses of memories which doesn’t really help. I think I know you… Your name at least”

Zayn nodded eyes glued on Liam, craving to touch him, to hug him, but he clearly saw that Liam didn’t want the same. For him, the brunet was a stranger and it broke Zayn’s heart.

“Your name is jaan, right?” Liam asked not knowing how to take Zayn’s silence. The man seemed in choke, and the boys with him stared curiously at Liam.

“My name is Zayn, but you used to call me jaan” Zayn chuckled wiping his tears, his lips stretched into a broken smile.

“Guys…your tattoos” Louis gasped bursting their bubble. “You have the same tattoos!” He added grabbing Zayn’s arm and showing it to Liam.

The brunet frowned not understand until Liam lifted his own arm ,and rolled up his sleeve.

“Same….Exactly the same” Louis carried only staring the designs. They were replicas, same patterns, same drawing, words…everything was frighteningly similar.

Zayn gasped not knowing how to react at all. He just stared as Louis gently lifted up his other arm and compared to Liam’s.

“You two are wearing the same sleeve tattoos” Louis added again noticing that both the men were lost at words, and clearly in shock. “Do you have any other ink?” he asked Zayn who only nodded.

“Wings on your chest and red lips?” Liam asked feeling his heart hammer in his chest as he Zayn nodded again. “Comic tattoos on your leg? A gun on your hip?” he asked once feeling his mouth go dry, and the brunet nodded.

“Who are you?” Liam finally asked staring expectantly at Zayn, even Louis was loss at words. He didn’t know what to say at that point.

“Your husband…And mother of your kids” Zayn answered softly, and whispered the last words not knowing how the new Liam would take the fact that he was a carrier.

Unlike what the brunet thought and felt like that day, he didn’t faint but Liam did. Louis gasped wrapping his arms around his unconscious friend to prevent him from hurting himself on his way down.

 

**_The end_**


End file.
